Some may think I've been a little too focused lately on being old and losing some of my faculties, and even getting a little too crotchety. I think it's their imagination. I admit that I do think about it a bit. But, hey! I'm old! What else have I got to do besides sit around and think about things?  Frankly, if you don't like it, I say tough!

Oh! The Joys of Old Age

What's wrong with us? There comes that time,

And we really ought to know

That if you get too old and slow

Then you're gonna have to go.

You're booted from the workplace.

The neighbors shake their heads.

The kids forget to call you,

And the g-men think you're dead.

You stand in line for hours just to get a little card

That says you get some money 

For which you worked so hard.

But wait! It's not so simple!

They're not sure that you are you.

So, you jump through hoops and fill out forms.

And just when you think you're through,

They hand you ten more forms and smile 

With a twinkle in their eye. 

It's really quite sadistic how they delight to see you cry.

Now, medical is another fact that you don't want to face.
Insurance men and women hover over your living space.
Your doctor has reservations about everything you eat,
And your dentist wants to talk about installing some false teeth.
I know. You think I'm crazy to imagine such wild things.
But, the truth is this is just a glimpse of all the grief it brings.
No. I'm just saying it gets tough, the older that you get.
So, enjoy your life, and take care now so there's nothing you'll regret.

There is one thing that I might add

 That makes up for all this.

There are things that come with age 

That give you so much joy and bliss.

I know I've whined and cried a bit, 

And even wrung my hands.

But, the best of being older

 Is enjoying all the grands.

Your grandkids are the greatest thing. 

You rock and read and play.

Your aches and pains disolve a bit with every word they say.

You'll find that they're the smartest, the most handsome, and quite nice,

And the stories that you'll tell will be repeated more than twice.

It's the best reward for all the years of diapers and teens.

And, your children get to go through worse. 

Oh! It's the epitome of your dreams!

Well, I must go. I heard a knock. It's an agent at the door.
He wants to sell me security that I've never had before.
He thinks I was born yesterday, and I'll buy the line he's spun.
But, surprise! I have security. This old lady packs a gun.