for Jill's 40th birthday card:

If I had a million wishes I would make them all for you.
And then I’d ask the Father to make them all come true.
I pray that on your special day, and all the others too,
The love you show to others will all come back to you.

Georgia's Best

When in Georgia the ultimate dream
Can be respite from summer's hot steam.
But the best Georgia Belle
Relieves hot steam so well.
It's a large bowl of peaches and cream.

The Family That Lives Between Your Toes

There's a family that lives between your toes.
The origin of them nobody knows.
They go around wearing the funniest clothes.
The family that lives between your toes.

                                                                                

There's a family that lives between your toes.
They always move in right under your nose.
The age of the children is hard to suppose
Of the family that lives between your toes.

There's a family that lives between your toes.
They live on green popcorn and watch fungus shows.
They have a strange relative that comes and goes
From the family that lives between your toes.

There's a family that lives between your toes,
And when you get married, so the story goes,
Your loved one is expected to also propose
To the family that lives between your toes.

There's a family that lives between your toes.
They write silly poetry and funny prose.
You can hear them scream when you run through the hose.
The family that lives between your toes.

There's a family that lives between your toes.
And when you are dead and your body arose,
The life of this family comes to a close.
The family that lived between your toes.

MOW THAT LAWN!

It’s time for you to mow the lawn,
The dogs are getting lost.
You’ve got to go and buy the gas,
No matter what the cost.
I know the price of oil is high,
But, really, understand.
The neighbors think that we have moved
And want to buy the land.
You’ve got to mow the lawn today.
I know. It’s really hot!
But the guy next door thought he saw a deer,
And the greyhound almost got shot.
The station on the corner has
The cheapest gas, by far.
You can fill the can with gasoline
When you fill up the car.
The cats are crouching in the weeds
And they’re jumping out at us.
If you will mow the lawn right now
There will be no more fuss.
The pups are afraid to go out at night,
Afraid to go through the door.
Next thing you know it won’t be grass.
You’ll be mopping up the floor.
Come on, now, please go get it done.
Just get yourself in gear!
What? You have an ear infection,
And you really didn’t hear?
OK. Then you take the baby,
And you can clean up his mess.
When I’m done mowing then I’ll go out
And buy that lovely dress.
What’s that you say? You’re feeling fine?
My pleading now you hear?
Yes, I do believe in miracles.
Now, go mow the lawn, my Dear!

Valentine Preference

some people think roses are dandy.
some people want roses AND candy.
some people think these are the winner,
but i'd rather be taken to dinner.

save your money and buy me some food.
cause to not have to cook suits my mood.
don't cruise for flowers making you frantic.
McDonald's is my idea of romantic.

Lelia Elaine Graham

Laughter and lyrical; lady in making.
Eyes so delightful, and smile overtaking.
Lovely in manner, and lovingly faithful.
Infinite wisdom, intelligent, graceful.
Auspicious, ambitious, pouty and tasteful.

The only granddaughter, so funny and sweet.
She's generous and precious; she just can't be beat.
I love you, Lelia Elaine.

MY CHRISTMAS SICKNESS

Tis the season to celebrate Jesus' birth.
My friends all surround me in their seasonal mirth.
Christians are preparing all over the earth,
And I just can't get with it, for all that I'm worth.

The people are gathering, their parties to enjoy,
They expect all the trimmings and gifts to employ.
But I sit back and moan, a regular killjoy,
And pout like an ornery, misguided schoolboy.

If I meet you at the market my hand I'll extend.
If you bring up the season I'll try to pretend.
For no disrespect or bad news I intend.
I'm afraid all my bad thoughts I'll have to defend.

So I sit back and think on the Christmas aspect,
And I know that I desparately try to connect
To this ongoing notion to which I object.
It's the idea of Santa Claus! And I have no respect!

I watch as the children all dance for joy.
I see in the church the sweet-sounding choirboy.
But the Santas and their reindeer I just want to destroy!
I've an attitude problem with which I'm annoyed.

This Scrooge-like behavior I'll just have to amend.
Up from this pit of mud I must ascend.
And even the Santa's I'll try to befriend!
Oh my. Does this restoration truly have no end?

I'll sing like an angel, my flaws to correct.
They'll look at me strangely, but they'll never suspect
That I once was a grouchy old gal, and deflect
All the others who growl and show disrespect.

And once I've accomplished this drastic makeover,
I'll let the love of God in my life really take over.
And then I believe that I'll finally discover
That love that He gives me will really spillover.

So, Santas, I'm ready to meet face to face.
Between you and Jesus you'll find there's no race.
I've banished resentment; there's simply no trace.
I've been healed of this malady, and it's all by God's Grace.