The Narrow Butt Chair

As I pushed through the door it was daunting to see

That no thought had been given to people like me.

It's the furnishing gurus that boggle my brain,

Who, along with society our big butts disdain.

I took it all in, every chair in the room

Was for narrow butt people. Oh! The sadness and gloom!

So, I gave them my name. Then I nestled in

To a narrow butt chair with a sigh and chagrin.

I waited for nursie to call out my name

While I played Words With Friends who could put me to shame.

Soon I heard her call out, and I answered with cheer,

"I'll be with you, darlin' when I get out of here."

I started to rise from the seat where I perched,

And I struggled and pitched, and I wriggled and lurched.

I stood halfway up, for my chair was attached

To my backside quite firmly as if something I'd hatched.

As a tear trickled downward I glanced at my nurse.

I saw sympathy in her because of my curse.

So, she grabbed both the armrests and pulled while I pushed.

By the time I saw doctor I was side-sore and bushed.

Oh, have pity you decorators! I cry out in despair!

How embarrassing to be trapped in a narrow butt chair!